June 29, 1999
Dear Mark,
Here is Chapter 2. In this time of cynicism, it is no wonder that character isn't a common topic of the media. I wonder if our educators discuss morality in any way shape or form in our public schools. Except for pre arranged meetings, parents aren't allowed in the schools to observe first hand what is being taught to their children. That may be okay, but it would be good if teachers reiterated some of the good behaviors that parents teach. After all, kids often listen to a school teacher or a friend's mom or dad as closely as to their own parents.
I've attempted to avoid "war stories" in the body of the instructions. However, I hope that some of the information stimulates the reader's brain to recall some anecdotes that support or refute a point. Mom once told me of something she read in the sports pages. During a hard fought high school game, one of the players apparently scored on a very close call. One referee threw both arms up. Touchdown! But there was a dispute! One of the referees disagreed and a long discussion ensued. The player interrupted the discussion. He told them that he hadn't actually crossed the goal line with the ball. The referees agreed to disallow the score. The young man was angrily cursed, ridiculed, and made fun of by his own team. Even the opponents called him stupid, nuts, out of his mind and worse. Years passed. As the story ended, this player continued his education and had become successful coach of a small school in southern Texas. The storyteller asked the question: "How would feel about having this person coaching your child?"
Sooner or later all of us get tested. We have the opportunity to do the right thing or the wrong thing. That can be your moment of truth. It's best to act quickly and decisively on the side of right. A few years ago General Motors got caught putting Chevy engines in Oldsmobiles. The decision to do that was not made on the assembly line. It was made in the boardroom. Somebody like you and me could have prevented the inevitable. That bad decision, made to save thousands of dollars cost GM millions of dollars and a lot of integrity. (Now they publish information making it clear that various GM engines might be in the various cars. They should have thought of the honest route in the first place.)
Obviously you have been successful in your own character development. Good for you! You will want to raise Jessie with the same values. As an excellent manager, you will want to guide those who report to you when the occasion presents itself. Likewise, sometimes the opportunity occurs to remind those to whom you report. Had someone spoke up strongly and with conviction GM would not have suffered such a financial setback and loss of reputation.
We're very proud of you and impressed with those people with whom you have chosen to associate. You are already in the position of helping and guiding others to follow the path of honor and integrity - not that of least resistance. People watch you and look to you for the right direction. Lead on and keep up the good work.
Love,
Dad
Chapter 2
CHARACTER
Character is a distinguishing quality of excellent managers. A leader should expect loyalty and trust from subordinates. It stands to reason that subordinates should expect to see their leaders as moral, ethical and trustworthy. Instructing modern managers in the importance of morality and ethics may seem out of touch with current reality. Honesty may be a tough sell in the light of the behaviors of certain contemporary political religious and business leaders. This has always been so. Many get caught, lose their position and sometimes end up in jail. The more power an individual or a group has, the more they can rationalize immoral or illegal activity. Every day, in thousands of boardrooms, opportunities are presented to do the right thing, or the wrong thing. Meetings are held and issues discussed by all levels of managers. The CEO isn't necessarily in every meeting. Can the ethical CEO trust the subordinates? These situations only add to the importance of developing individual character. Achieving perfection may not be possible. However, this should not dissuade a person who aspires to be excellent. When working on self improvement you must try to emulate those leaders for whom you have the greatest respect. You have a clear picture of what you expect in a manager. Hold that picture in focus. You may have to tolerate unethical and immoral behavior. You do not have to condone it. You should be careful not to participate in anything illegal. Occasionally you may have to stand firm in some particular situations. You must have a clear head and firm conviction on what is right and what is wrong. Inevitably, one day you will have to choose in a high pressure situation. Simply make the right choice!
People who report to you have modest expectations. Nevertheless, it is important that you are sincere in your dealings with all people. If you fake it, they will know. You know when you have to deal with insincerity. It is just that easy for others to see when you are not being straight with them. Honesty in all of your dealings with others is essential. This should be evident in your personal experiences. If you know a manager is dishonest with people, doesn't everyone know it? If you want people to take risks with you, you must be reliable. Never promise what you can't deliver but always deliver what you promise. If unforeseen situations occur, confront the problem and completely explain your failure to follow through. Trust is also a necessary characteristic. To expect trust from those who report to you, you must be entirely trustworthy.
There are characteristics which should be overcome or subdued. When things are not going well, it is easy to want to vent with subordinates. Don't! Gossip has no place in the conversation of a manager. This is a tough one but one which should receive work to eliminate. Slander is making up something hurtful about a person. Calumny is the uttering of exaggerated faults or untruths against another. One writer cautioned, "Chopping up someone else's furniture doesn't make yours look any better." No matter how minute, participating in spreading gossip, slander or calumny affects the participants personally. Later, meeting that person face to face is an uncomfortable encounter. Feelings of personal deceit and two facedness become overwhelmingly embarrassing. Also, when we share dirt dishing with others, we create a situation of distrust. Why would anyone believe you wouldn't slur them at a convenient opportunity when you are with someone else? Consider how such situations can be avoided. It is easy to remember to practice good behavior in this regard. When you were a child, you could ask yourself if your mother would approve. When you are a parent, you can ask how you would like your child to behave in the same circumstances.
Excellent managers try to treat everyone the same whether it be the CEO or the lowest paid person in unskilled, beginning jobs. Show your respect. Greet them with the same enthusiasm, warmly and sincerely. Invariably, we know leaders who behave like that. We are very comfortable around them because they treat us and everyone else respectfully. Since you are reading this, most likely you are already that type person. Emulate those you admire and you will improve upon your good behaviors. Try to smile more, with everybody. People will like that and smile back.
Self examination on the subject of character is important. You need to know where you are in character development compared to where you want to be. Since you are reading this chapter, self examination will enhance your self esteem. Think of how many good qualities you have. Notice that people seem to like you and enjoy being around you. This isn't something to get swell headed about but should encourage you to broaden your circle of contacts.
Don't waste your time with people of questionable character. You will not pick them up. They will drag you down. Remember, associate only with people who want to be more successful. Some politician cited this old saw, "If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck and is constantly seen in the company of ducks, it is probably a duck!" Another one you should have heard in elementary school: "You are known by the company you keep." These instructions do not suggest that you prejudge people. However, once a loser is detected just walk away. Think of this easy to remember Steffenism: "See ya, wouldn't want to be ya!" That is a good thought as you withdraw from the occasions of negativity.
Character development and the right behavior are easy! It should be amazing to all of us that so many executives get into trouble with their people, in their business dealings and in their struggles with honesty and ethics. It is so simple.
- Be truthful! Don't lie!
- Clean up your language!
- Do the right thing!
- Do what your mama would have expected of you!
- Do what you will teach your child to do!
Recommended Reading
- The Leadership Moment by Michael Useem